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Broken hearts and broken hips

After Phe, Matty H. and I survived a night out on the town with a group of geriatric, Geritol junkies, Phe and I are safely wrapped in the safe confines of Twin Peaks. I am sure Matty H. aka, well, you should know who he is, has posted an entry about this night and I am here to tell you that what he has (or will) probably post doesn't come close to describing the true horror and inhumanity of the events that transpired this night. In other words, it was fun as fuck.

We all arrived at about 7 o'clock at a non-disclosed location, drawn only by the lure of ten dollars per head for all the beer and food one could consume from 6 to 12 at night. At about 8 o'clock, in walks a rather large breasted stripper, possibly prostitute, with an albino bondage pengu under her arm. As odd as this may seem, we three disregarded this intrusion, seeing as how we were in Malden, and continued to drink our beers. What we failed to realize was that in tow was a quadrplegic, gimp platypus wearing what look to be something out of H.R.Gyger's nightmares. Matty H. the great connesueir of all things albino, quadroplegic and gimpy even failed to take notice of this.

Wait and See and Love.

While being in the military you have to undergo certain stresses such as waiting on the stupidity of someone who out ranks you to clear and not being able to squat about their decisions or hoping that you don't get shipped out to some shit hole where you'll be stuck for who knows how long. At times I miss my civilian life, but only when shit gets really stupid. But, one thing I'll always envy civilians for is their blissful ignorance of the feeling that knowing, not when but someday you'll have to part ways with a loved one to play cop in a third world country where nobody wants you. I've found a new fear now that I'm with someone who also is in the military.
Now I have the doubled fear that not only will I be deployed to some Western hating country, but my partner also will be deployed at some point in time. It's so much easier being the one in the mix when all you have to do is worry about getting yourself blown up or whatever. Now there is the fact I have to deal with that I might be the one left behind to do the worrying, praying that my loved one makes it back alive, especially knowing exactly what they're going through and feeling seeing that at one point it was me over there. I wish I had a better grasp of the English language to truly convey the feeliing of fear and worry that lurks in the backs of both our minds. Knowing only that whatever happens she or I have something worth coming home to and that they are always thought of seems to make the definite a little easier to deal with. The time we have together seems that much sweeter because of this, a feeling civilians wouldn't understand or experience; which can be either a blessing or a curse. I would rather at times not have this constant worry, but it has subconsciosly made our relationship that much stronger.
The only way to deal with Phe receiving an alert order is to hope it doesn't go through and not to dwell on it, enjoying each moment we have together as if it could be our last for a while. I never knew how hard it could be being in a military relationship, but I am also grateful it can be worrysome and stressful at times. I realize just how much I care for her and how just hearing her voice can raise my spirits as mine can hers. All we can do is love each other like we have been and hold each other whenever we can hoping it isn't the last time we feel our arms wrapped each other before that flight. We can only wait and see and love.

Tank Mobility Assisstance vehicles.

Due to the complete ignorance of people to the difference between an M-88, a tank and a tow truck I have put together a simple guide that will hopefully later will be implemented for training in powerpoint form.

A tow truck. Note wheels making it a truck.

A tank. It's powerplant is an M-88. ( see below)

An M-88 assissting a tank's mobility. Also known as the Tank Mobility Assisstance Vehicle.

Life less complicated

As always in life there is a sense of satisfaction at things accomplished and a sense of anxiety at things to come or things that have come and gone and left a negative mark on us. With the experiences in life that will always be remembered fondly and gazed back on longily we are able to grow and form ourselves into something other than we imagined possible. Be it a trip to the beach with the one we love or a thank you from a stranger whom you've held the door open for, these small things always make life worth living. But, as is always the case, there are bitter experiences that often times leave the longer lasting emotional after effects.

Though it might be harder to ignore the harsh words of someone than to embrace the words of kindness by another, it should always be the words of kindness that we use to give us strength to carry on through life. Bitter words are always spoken from a bitter mind. They may break us down and use what we fear most to hurt us or bring us with them into their misery, but this is only because they don't know how to enjoy their lives without the pain of others. Don't let their hatred bring you down and belittle you. You alone know the true person you are and the reasons for being. You alone know that you are above them and that even though you're life might not be the easiest it is your life and you live it to the fullest each day, revelling in the simple joys that in the end surpass even the most hurtfull of words.

As to those who prefer pushing their misery upon others; don't forget that life is too short to remain in one moment of pain. Get on with living your life and let others live their own the way they want to, not the way you want them to. Progress is only made in a forward direction while decline always involves rolling down a hill and getting hurt the whole way.

Staring into space.

Why is it that every time you're what might be considered proficient at something, people tend to not listen and doubt your expertise? I've found that dealing with the idiots here at F.K. the majority of them tend to ask me a question and after recieving an in depth explanation, turn right around and ask someone else the same thing. This is true throughout life and have noticed it happens to a great deal of people. The human mind is an astounding instrument when given to the wrong individuals. They would rather doubt the knowledge of someone who has years of experience and known good reputation and trust someone they know has no experience and a poor track record just because that person has better social standing. Even common sense holds no ground in this place and is preferrably rejected for an often times harder path. 
If it seems that I am merely ranting and raving, this is true without a doubt. If I had the resources and ability I'd merely drop a neutron bomb on several locations throughout the world and start human evolution and thought process anew. I know numerous people would agree with my bitchings and countless others that would agree with my solution to this pesky problem of hinderence. Anyway I feel a little better. Was this whole thing pointless? Who knows, but the desired feeling of inner calm through venting was acheived so fuck it. Khattam-shud.

Worth every minute of it

Had another kickass weekend up in Boston with Phe. It's amazing how much stuff we can pack into our time together. I got in friday night rather late, but we definetly made the most of it. Got to wake up next to her for two mornings in a row, definetly feels good popping out of bed and wanting to wake the person next to up so you can get the day started with them. I've been too used to trying to have those couple of minutes of solitude in the morning trying to gear myself up for dealing with L. before she got her ass out of bed. Having Phe in my life has changed me in so many ways. Suddenly sharing a cup of coffee with someone in the morning is one of those small things I look forward to especially when we hit D.D. and I get to tease her with my glazed stick.
Anyway I got to wake up with her late and we cruised into Davis and hit the Rosebud for what might be considered by some as a late lunch of breakfast. We prepped ourselves at the V. for the show going on at the what's its' name that wound up changing to another place towards the end. This was to make way for a scheduled karaoke deal which was supposed to involve only about twenty or so people; figure that one out. The Ducky Boys were kick ass, I found Subzero to be slightly self-gratifying, but the whole deal was worth it considering Phe was there. We finished the night up back at the V. with her buddy and some beers before heading back to H.H.
Had to leave late sunday, but I got to have a traditional Irish breakfast and plenty of coffee with her new roommates. We bummed around downtown together just enjoying each others company. I couldn't have asked for a better partner to want to spend my life with. Just being around her makes me feel more alive and my heart more open than it has ever been. Even though I had to leave; the desire to stay was killing me, I knew that I would see her again on the coming four day. With all the experiences I've had in life, being with Phe and living my life with her has been the most rewarding of all. Everytime I'm with her we embark upon new quests of care free stimulation, enjoying every moment we have together and revelling in those blissful times of pure not trying to accomplish anything except making full beers empty. I am lucky not just because I am so deeply loved, but because I can love so deeply without fear.
Travel friday for me was by far the worst experience I've had. Ever. I prefered travel to the mid-east during deployments over the ordeal I went through from 1800 friday to 1900 saturday. To make it somewhat amusing I'll write the perfect recipe for travel disaster.
Step 1: Add one canceled flight upon arrival at airport. Start time 1800.
Step 2: Mix in one flight where you are put on as a standby. Stir in boarding plane, dozing off and being awakened by flight attendant pulling you off the plane due to weight restrictions.
Step 3: One rescheduled flight on U.S. Airways, hauling ass down to terminal only to find out they can't take you.
Step 4: Another rescheduled flight through Delta for 0600 the following morning, sleeping at the USO; rather fitfully, and not being with the one you love that night.
Step 5: Making the 0600 flight out of Louisville to Atlanta, arriving in Atlanta only to find out your connecting flight has been cancelled due to electrical problems.
Step 6: Pour in one rebooked flight at 1330 as a standby, put off to side one confirmed flight at 1500.
Step 7: Sit on your ass for three hours with only a Butterfinger to eat, then drop the standby flight on the floor and piss on it.
Step 8: Sit on your thumb for another two hours before boarding the flight at 1500 to Boston.
Step 9: Add feeling of total homicidalness and frustration before stepping off plane in Boston and into the arms of the person you love with a feeling of it all being completely worth it coming over you as you feel their arms around you.
Total preparation time: About 24 hours.
Total travel time: A little over 4 hours.
Even though the trip was nothing short of being fucked to all hell, the end result was nothing short of being worth every single second of it all. After you've endured a trip like this you come away with the knowledge that you'd do anything to spend at least 18 hours with the one you love.

The return trip back to the hell hole was flawless. Go figure. At least someone, somewhere was getting a kick out of the whole thing.

Guns and the young.

Dropping a line before heading out to voluntarily get shot at by a bunch of cracked out Rangers. I would leave Phe my last will and testament, but I dont feel like I'm going to die on this one. I am going to leave a guess as to what will transpire out there; a plague of friendly fires, bruised egos and everything else, a sense of being set up of for failure and maybe a case of a chosen few being kicked in the head. The privates are never going to forget this experience just so in the future they remember to never volunteer for anything involving sim-rounds or cracked out rangers again. I already promised Phe I'd take a few down for her before I get whacked. If I do do get fucked up at least I know she'll be there to nurse my wounds this weekend. "Install shit eating grin here". Anyway time to head back to the prison yard.
It works for now. At least crap can be read. I'll tweak it later under the expert guidance of you.

Louisville locals.

The past weekend was probably the most amusing one I've had in a long time. With the help of my better half we managed to scare the patrons of Louisville's bars away from talking to drunken Irish couples for the rest of their lives. She sounded like Maureen O'Hare with the accent she was using. If I hadn't wanted to throw her on the table and make sweet abuse to her so badly I might've come up with some quirkier remarks. There's always next weekend so long as we don't offend any off the boat Bostonians; it might get really interesting. She's the greatest.